Collectibles: to Open, or Not to Open?

That’s right, nerds. I’m about to kick that hornet’s nest. The debate as old as time: should you, or should you not, open your collectibles? Epic as this question is, I understand that you may feel the need to meditate, seek the wisdom of Yoda, or stare deeply into the Face of Boe in order to find the answers you seek. But before you do any of those things, this simple video might help you reach enlightenment.

Settled, right?

Ok, maybe I should have included a warning on that video: “includes graphic images of un-boxing”, or a disclaimer: “No toys were harmed during the making of this video”. Sorry. Sit down, have a nice cup of tea, then come back so you can hear me out. To the already converted, feel free to be smug! This song is definitely about you.

Without further ado, I present the top five reasons why you should un-box your toys:

1. Rollerblades should be worn

God knows why, but this story has stuck with me. It was years ago, I was in my early twenties, cleaning out my kitchen and lamenting the fact that I had all this beautiful crockery and glassware that people had given to me as gifts, but it was all gathering dust at the back of a cupboard because I didn’t host enough dinner parties to use it. I was in my twenties, for christsake. Even now, my so-called “dinner parties” consist of home-made Mac and Cheese and red wine from the bottle. I never said I invited anyone to my dinner parties. Anyway, a friend who was helping me at the time told me that I should just use them whenever I wanted and that not using your good stuff is like a kid getting a rad pair of rollerblades at Christmas and then leaving them under her bed because she doesn’t want to ruin them. It defeats the point. These things should be enjoyed.

Your toys are the same. They’re meant to be enjoyed! Under all that cardboard and plastic there’s a figurine with ten-thousand points of articulation just waiting to be bended into hilarious positions. Even if your toy isn’t the bendy kind, it’s so, so shiny under all that packaging. Go on, you know you want to.

2. Your toys want to be seen

On my thirtieth birthday, my partner gave me this Electric Tiki Design “Tooned Up” Buffy marquette. She is extremely rare and, I can only image, extremely valuable. She is also extremely pretty, which is why I refuse to let her spend her days like this.

How utterly pointless. Sure, the box is pretty and the limited serial number on the bottom is exciting, but I want my Buffy out and proud. I’ve written about this before, but Buffy is one of my all time favourite female characters. She’s strong, stubborn, resourceful and her hair is always on point. Just look at her, in all her glory. Flawless.

No-one puts Buffy in the corner, I mean, box.

3. Plan on selling?

So, you’re keeping your toys in their packets so you can sell them later to some unfortunate nerd who can’t find them any cheaper on eBay. More power to you. Seriously. I’m ok with that. It’s a free world and apparently a free market. What I find weird is why you would want to sell them in the first place. Assuming you’re a big ole’ geek (and I have to assume that if you’re reading this blog), why would you ever want to sell your precious toys? Keep them for your offspring, sure, but sell them? Why? I’ve even heard geeks who have NO intention of selling say they’re keeping their toys in their boxes because they’re more valuable that way. I just don’t get it.

4. Christmas Day every day

Seriously, every time it comes time to unwrap a new toy, I feel like this.

It’s like Christmas Day! But for grown-ups! Who still buy toys! I can’t resist the feel-good hit I get from opening a shiny new box of geek. It gets me every time. Sometimes it’s like I’m literally racing home so I can open my purchase and gaze lovingly at it before introducing it to “the gang” that lives in my collectibles cabinet.

5. Touchy-feely

I’m going to write this with as little sleaze as possible: it feels so good to hold and touch your toys. It really does. Sure, it’s just plastic, but it’s perfect plastic, carved into the likeness of your favourite character or actor, like David Bowie as Jareth from the 1986 film Labyrinth. I bought this Jareth figurine from Minotaur in Melbourne years ago and I un-boxed it immediately. I simply could not resist the urge to stroke his majestic cape, finger his gothic locks and grip his crystal ball. Don’t try and pretend you wouldn’t do the same.

Innuendo aside, my point is that humans are tactile creatures. We revel in our sense of touch, finding inexplicable joy in textures, patterns and grooves. Toys are no different, especially when they so vividly represent a source of joy or nostalgia. I guess now you know how I pass the time at my Mac and Cheese “dinner parties”.

Finally, no list on the internet is definitive without a glaring exception. My exception to the un-wrapping rule is this: if the packaging holds significant sentimental value, keep it, or keep your toy in it. I truly get this.

Case in point: years ago, I was working in an indie film/collectibles store and I spotted a NECA dual Alien and Predator set, complete with replica Alien and Predator skulls. Why should I be so interested in that, you ask? Why, when there are so many Alien and Predator toys available should I keep this one in the box? I kept this one in the box because it is the only set I have ever found to feature the original Alien and original Predator together. I’m talking Ridley Scott’s Freudian nightmare next to Arnie’s jungle play-pal. This is important to me because I LOVE both original movies, whereas my feelings for the AvP franchise are decidedly less positive. Seeing the two packaged together is something I feel I must preserve.

So tell me, geeklets, where do you land on the issue of un-wrapping your toys?

Feature image from Art Asylum